So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just gift wrapped bread.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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