im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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