I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
