I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
