Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
