Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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