I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
