god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
