she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
