He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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