Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
