Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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