Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
