what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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