he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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