the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
