I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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