But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
