so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
