school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
