So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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