I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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