id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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