my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
