I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
