We're like a lot better than the average bears
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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