smell my finger.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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