im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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