I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
