Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
