Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Text me some of your sweat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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