He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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