Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
