Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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