No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it was like having sex with a tree stump
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
