we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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