i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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