Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
