Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
