Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
