I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
