Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
