Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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