I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
