This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
