I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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