I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
