thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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