dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
