I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
