Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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