I'm gonna have a badass scar
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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