I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
