Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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