I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
