he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish you could order shots online.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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