i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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