Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
