He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
