Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
