i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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