What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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