I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
